job security quiz will help judge how long you'll end up
at your current job and what will become of you.
The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing
DOOM at your desk, you...
A. Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever,
but first make a copy for his kid.
B. Inform him that you're planting a virus in the program
so that everyone who plays it on company time will get reported
to Human Resources.
C. Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until
you've finished the level.
There's a cush job opening in the mail department, stuffing
envelopes with free samples. It pays twice as much as your
current position. What do you do?
A. Meekly suggest to your boss that transferring you might
improve the morale of everyone who's been working with you.
B. Politely ask your boss for a transfer and offer to split
the salary increase 50/50 with him.
C. Barge into your bosses office and demand reassignment
so that you, "Won't have to work under someone who
should have retired before he became a laughingstock."
When your boss throws a party and invites everyone in the
office except you, what do you do?
A. Stay home and watch 'I Love Lucy' reruns.
B. Show up at the party anyway, with a really expensive
bottle of wine and a briefcase full of small, unmarked bills.
C. Go over to your bosses house after everyone has left
and throw rocks at the windows, shouting obscenities.
Your boss criticizes your work unjustly; what do you do?
A. Listen politely, and then apologize.
B. Blame someone else.
C. Climb on top of your desk, and hold up a piece of paper
on which you've written the word "union."
When the CEO parks his car in your spot, you...
A. Wash and wax it, then leave your business card under
the windshield wiper.
B. Key it ... then tell the CEO's secretary you saw your
boss near it, loitering suspiciously.
C. Key it ... then proudly tell the CEO's secretary that
you did it.
Your boss asks you to play Kooky the Clown for his kid's
fifth birthday party, what do you do?
A. Offer to pay for the costume rental and cake, too.
B. Agree to do it, then blackmail a co-worker into doing
it while pretending to be you.
C. Agree to do it, then show up as yourself and tell the
children that Kooky is dead.
The boss accuses you of not keeping the office clean; you...
A. Clean the office while he supervises.
B. Tell him that you delegated the job, then fire the underling
you supposedly gave the job to.
C. Clean the office again, but this time, you use your
Scoring this test
Mostly A's: You have nothing to worry about. They'll never
fire you because you're a doormat.
Mostly B's: You're not just going to keep your job, with
your complete disregard for other peoples feelings, you'll
positively shoot up the ladder of success. Congratulations!
You're a real jerk.
Mostly C's: You are a career kamikaze. The boss would have
fired you long ago, but he's terrified of what you might