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  • I would not allow this employee to breed.
  • This associate is not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be.
  • Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
  • When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change whatever foot was previously there.
  • He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
  • This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
  • He set low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
  • This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
  • This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
  • Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  • Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard was not looking.
  • A room temperature IQ.
  • Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it together.
  • A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
  • A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
  • A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
  • Bright as Alaska in December.
  • One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
  • Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
  • Fell out of the family tree.
  • Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
  • Has two brains: one is lost; the other one is out looking for it.
  • He's so dense, light bends around him.
  • If brains were taxed, she would get a refund.
  • Of he were anymore stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
  • If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you will get change.
  • If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
  • It is hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
  • One neuron short of a synapse.
  • Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
  • Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.
  • Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
  • Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
  • His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

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