are actual sports quotes said by various people throughout
Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why
he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded,
"Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the
upcoming season:"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500
yards, whichever comes first."
And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say "I'd
run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt
Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius
is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long
it takes." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football
coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height."
and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line
up in a circle."
Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman
because of academic requirements: "I play football.
I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to
make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't
been through in school."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again
with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him
to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years,
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why
he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's
so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find
my fucking clothes."
Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon
during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember
the names of the clubs that we went to."
Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've
won at every level, except college and pro."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training
regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who
gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what
time it is."
Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's
7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on
the road.. As general manager, I just can't figure out where
else to play." (1992)
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining
to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if
I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (1982)
Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born
pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for
in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas
Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal
number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor
physical conditioning: "One player was lost because
he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in
condition for football?" (1966)
Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after
the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled
a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against
St. Louis: "I'm Going to send the injured reserve players
out for the toss next time." (1981)
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans
that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books:
"But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored
Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a
loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed
to comment on lousy officiating." (1986)
Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights
as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the
same, just darker." (1991)
Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision
not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I
was afraid I'd get shot." (1996)
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance
or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach,
John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting
what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son,
looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."