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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

PROSTITUTE OR CONSULTANT?

  • You work very odd hours.
  • You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
  • You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.
  • You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.
  • You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.
  • You are not proud of what you do.
  • Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
  • It's difficult to have a family.
  • You have no job satisfaction.
  • If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
  • You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
    · People ask you what you do and you can't explain it.
  • Your family hardly recognizes you at reunions (at least the reunions you attend).
  • Your friends have distanced themselves from you and you're left hanging with only other professionals.
  • Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
  • Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
  • Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or BMWs.
  • Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.
  • You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not your problem.
  • When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday A.M. to Friday P.M.).
  • You are rated on your performance in an excruciating ordeal.
  • Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.
  • The client always thinks your cut of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
  • When you deduct your take from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.
  • Everyday you wake up and tell yourself you're not going to be doing this stuff for the rest of your life.

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